A Break from Routine Improves Mood

Today I went out of the way of my nature. I watched some football, played Bubble Shooter on phone, and watched some Tedx videos. I never used to do that. I have been in a low mood, and in a feeling of despair. As I am unemployed at the moment and the irony is I don’t want to do what I was going. I was not enjoying jobs that I did. I changed a lot of jobs and careers with the aim to find my calling. In this state of confusion, I got into depression and developed a sense of failure. Getting failed in something is not worse than not knowing what you should do.

So, today I decided to go against my nature. Therefore, I watched some football. I don’t know anything about the game. I just know that group of people of two teams kick a ball from foot to get a goal. and Goalkeeper is there to stop the goal of opposite team.

I couldn’t watch football for more than 10 minutes. So I downloaded Bubble Shooter. I knew about this game because one of my colleagues used to play it at work 8 years ago. She was fond of this game. I was attracted to it because of colorful balls and a cool ambiance.

Surprisingly I really enjoyed the game and continued playing for 2-3 hours and cleared 50 levels successfully. It developed a sense of achievement and refreshed my mood.

Then, just before writing this post, I watched two inspirational TEDx videos on Youtube. And from there I got excited to write something about my experience of the day.

I started the day with the usual feelings of despair and disappointment and got into a happy state of mind. I realized sometimes going against your routine and trying experiencing something different activates part of your brain that releases good chemicals. I don’t know much about neuroscience but from the psychology point of view, I could surely say that it really helps. And there is certainly no harm in trying it.

Umair Raheel.

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Why I stopped posting on Instagram

I had been posting my poems, writings, and some photographs and graphic designs (which i create sometime) on Instagram quite often, in the past couple of weeks. Since I don’t have many followers as I am not the active user, therefore, I need to rely on hashtags to reach to maximum number of people. By doing so, on an average my posts get up to 30 likes (so far).

Like other Insta users, I also want to reach to maximum number of people and I want my posts to get maximum likes and comments. Therefore, in this hope, I compulsively open and check Instagram to know how my post is performing.

The problem is not with the post itself, but my compulsive behavior to check again and again and desiring to gain maximum likes. I seek attention and approval of others to ‘like’ my post to evaluate and make me realize the worth of my writings. And of course, when I get less likes, I get badly disappointed and get into a depression. People who write, must be aware of the fact that we as writers, are attention seekers, we want appreciation of our work; we want more readers who encourage us rather criticize. We usually don’t take criticism even it is for our improvement.

One more interesting thing which I would like to mention here, that some posts which don’t perform well on instagram (which don’t get more likes), are liked by some writers who write so well and have more followers. When I check the profile of those writers, I get astonished and surprised that this post (which don’t perform well on insta) is liked by these writers, and I tell to myself that why would they like my post as it is so unworthy and shallow.

I, like many of us, evaluate the worthiness and value of the post, be it writing, photograph, or a selfie (in which you are looking so great and you have selected this picture after taking many photos to ensure you are looking best in this) by the number of likes or comments by people who don’t matter to us, who may not be the expert in this field, whose opinion may not matter in the first place, who are  NO ONE to judge your work. But just on the basis of number of likes you feel good and confident about yourself or you hate or make bad about yourself.

I don’t know how long would I be able to refrain myself from posting my work on Instagram, maybe it is just a timely feeling, but I am sure that if I keep posting my work there and seek attention and approval from other people in form of maximum likes, I would start feeling unworthy and it would increase my insecurity and hurt my sentiments that every writer attaches to his/her work. I appreciate feedback from people who really know my work and their feedback could potentially help in improvement, which would not be determined by mere ‘likes’.

Would appreciate your comments on the topic.

Thanks for reading.

Mob of Self-Worshipers

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I don’t fit in the society

that is clustered by,

the self- worshipers,

exposing their perishable selves,

to seek validation from the peers.

In return, praising them like,

trading the appreciation.

Rather,

I pursue something more meaningful,

than the mere appearances,

Something that is substantial,

which makes you unique,

Your art, your individuality ,

making you distinctive ,

in the mob of similar beings.

~Umair R.~

Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/161144492895723885/

There is a Way !!

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In the gloomy night,

Directed by the moon light

There is a way.

In the dark clouds of sadness

There is a ray of hope saying

There is a way.

Beneath the disappointed face,

See the hidden smile,

Which is ready to cherish.

Followed by the rough winds,

After the thunder storms,

There comes the sunshine,

Whispering softly,

Don’t give up,

There is a way.

~ Umair R. ~

Image Source: https://pixabay.com/en/light-in-the-dark-tunnel-hope-1872961/

Knocking at the Same door

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Why do I go there

Knowing,

There’s nothing new for me

Why do I knock at the same door

Over and over again

Knowing,

It will not be opened for me

Nobody is there to greet me

Then,

Why does my heart build

Expectations,

Maybe to get disappointed

Over and over again

Each time,

In different ways..

By different people

I don’t know..

Whether I belong to that place

Whether it owe me anything

But also,

I don’t know..

Where do I belong to exactly,

To the place where

My ideal resides

Where my eyes see

Materialization of the dream

that I saw in my youth

where emotions and feelings

Blossom even in rough times

Where there is a support

And a shoulder to rely on

Where love is appreciated

Without any discrimination

Where I am free to express

What I feel

Where,

There is someone to listen

To my rants and grievances

Where I won’t be judged for

What I have experienced

Willingly or unwillingly

I don’t know..

Whether such place existed

In this physical world

But,

My heart desire

To go to that place anyway,

By all means,

I will keep knocking at that door

Over and over again

Knowing,

Only silence & disappointment

Would greet me

Every time,

With more intensity

With more sincerity.

~Umair R.~

Image Source: http://balint4.deviantart.com/art/The-hope-light-in-darkness-288324388

Changing Self

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I am a person comprised of an old soul
The soul that has travelled into ages,
Generation after generation,
That has seen several autumns and spring..
Each day I meet with a new evolved person inside me,
The old gets transformed into a new being,
With different purpose and ambition
And experiences changing passion
And finds different reasons,
To live and to serve..
This fluctuation keeps me on a journey that never ends..
Moving on a parallel road without any curve,
Each day, I look forward to a different cause,
Pursuit of which, becomes the core purpose of my existence,
The next day, I have another goal..
And it continues without any pause.

~Umair R.~

Inner Chaos

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Nothing hurts me more than my self image
The complexes I’ve about myself
Getting more complicated. .
Making me inferior each passing moment
The chaotic thoughts make the most of noise
In my head, that shakes my soul
Keeping me away from desired peace
This was never my choice..
But it seems,
I find comfort in this turmoil
The disharmony gives fuel to my meaningless existence,
Of all the inconsistent experiences I have,
After all,
This chaos is the most consistent habitat of my ever changing mind.
~Umair R.~

Social Acceptance Versus Self Acceptance

The_art_of_pretending__by_NonnettaWe have often heard about ranting of social victims regarding rejection from the society. They claim that they are the individuals of the same society therefore possess equal social rights and concerned authorities and common public should not neglect them. This is what we call ‘social acceptance’ that they demand from society as being the citizens of the same social system.

The neglected citizens of society broadly range from social division on the basis of economic status, gender, physical or mental health, sexual orientation or anything that makes someone less respectful among the people. There are numerous human rights organizations working for the uplifting of neglected segments of society, and their social acceptance through public awareness campaigns on local and international level. The aim of such movements is to strive for the rights of the unfortunate victims of fate and society, through collective effort and mass support.

In my opinion, social acceptance is not as much needed to raise the self-esteem of the social victims of fate. Contrary to the popular struggle to gain mass acceptance, self-acceptance is more crucial for one’s dignity. Before we ask and expect others to accept us, we should develop higher consciousness to accept us of who we are regardless of the unfortunate circumstances that make us that way.

Self-esteem is linked mostly with individual state of mind and being than the outside environment. Similarly self-image is more important than the world view of yours. If a mental health patient considers him/herself as an unfortunate victim or an undesired member of society, he/she would never overcome that stigma, not even if his family and social circle accepts or welcomes him to contribute in society. Likewise, if a rape victim reaches to the point to end her life deeming she has no place to live a respectful life in society, she will never be able to convince herself to start a new life with a hope and determination.

Therefore, before we desire social acceptance we should strive to attain a mental state where we truly accept ourselves without any discrimination or biased opinion about us. We should first kill our internal fears and prejudices in order to face the world with firm confidence and stand in front of society with dignity and pride.

We do more harm to ourselves by considering us lower than others in respect. By doing so, we give up all our rights and put ourselves at the mercy of society. We beg for social acceptance because we don’t get it from ourselves. Once we work internally, create harmony within and conquer the battle with the self, we come up with a new clearer self-image with high esteem and don’t need others to provide an opinion about us.

We are empowered to meet all social challenges by finding beauty in the wilderness. This happens, when we accept our fate and forgive ourselves of whatever happened to us and find a new perspective of looking at things. By doing so, our misery appears smaller and we land in the world of unexplored opportunities simply by making weaknesses as our unbeatable strengths.

When life takes something, it empowers us with a new blessing and strength but it is up to us whether we dwell upon the miseries and make it the center of our lives or we find the sparkling ray of light in the darkness and focus all our energies on that. For instance, Schizophrenics and bipolar people are blessed with immense creativity which they can use to introduce world to a great work of art.

Any person can make a significant contribution through his work in society regardless of their sexual orientation if he accepts himself and ends the internal battle with fate. Sometimes, we indulge in finding answers of complex questions through our limited reason and ignore the endless opportunities that nature brings before us.

In my opinion, self-acceptance is far more important and should be more desirable than social acceptance. The victims of fate and society should first create harmony within and attain internal peace. I am optimistic that they can win any social battle if they decide to come out of their victimized self-image and choose to be a significant and productive member of society. They should and must accept themselves so that no one else can reject their noble existence.

~ Umair R. ~

Originally published in Journal of Pioneering Medical Sciences (JPMS)

http://blogs.jpmsonline.com/2015/03/15/social-acceptance-versus-self-acceptance-what-is-more-important/

The Roaring of Wild Mind

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You say a thinking mind is blessing?

It triggers questions that you always wonder about

It sets you apart from your contemporaries

You often get distinctive advantage in philosophical debates

But seldom is talked about the roaring of human mind

Which some of them call, the madness..

The untamed and immeasurable..

Imagination that makes you crazy

At times, my thoughts become my worst enemy

I pay the price of such tempting words,

In form of hundreds of sleepless nights

What you call my intellect,

Is a thing that makes me restless entire life

Umair R.

Image Source:

http://metro.co.uk/2011/02/14/hawaiian-surfer-clark-littles-photos-of-waves-turned-into-abstract-art-638847/