Confession of a Son

I’m ashamed to call me your son
The one for whom you sacrificed,
Your peace, your health & your life
I became the purpose of your life..
And you were always a need of mine..
I called you whenever I want something
And never bothered to ask if you need anything
I always thought it was your responsibility
I wish I had realised mine as well..
I always complained you don’t understand my point
But never noticed how rude & stubborn I was
You taught me how to read & write..
Now I claim to be more educated than you
As a child, whenever I embarrassed you in public,
You used to laugh and forgive on my stupidity
Now as a sophisticated adult,
I’m ashamed to carry you with me
Although, I also claim to love you
But the difference between our love is that
You show your unconditional love all 365 days
And I wait all year for one day to express.

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Short Keys to Unlock Happiness

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Happiness is not very expensive even in this era of social frustration. In most of the cases, we have to pay the cost of everything which we wish to bring in our acquisition. As they say, there is nothing like Free Lunch in this world. Similarly, Happiness has a cost too. But this cost is not paid in cash or through your credit card. You might be thinking about your new house in a posh area or your luxurious car or branded clothes which you recently bought for yourself, for which you have paid a handsome amount and feel so much happy about this asset. Is the material acquisition of goods enough to make a person happy and satisfied? NO. If goods could make you happy; then the elite women would not have to fix appointments with a psychiatrist for their mental peace.
There is no specific formula for happiness or inner peace. However, I figured out some common cognitive attributes which may be helpful in releasing depression and accelerate positivity in your thoughts.
Value Yourself: The first very important point which leads towards happiness is to value yourself. Don’t think that you are worthless creature. Allah (s.w.t) has created every living being with a purpose and none of His creation is useless. Start analyzing yourself by pointing out your strengths and solution for your weaknesses. Think about your achievements and feel good about them. With a low level of self esteem; you should not expect to live a happy life.
Your are Not Here to Please Everybody: Most of the times we do things to make others happy: our bosses, management, husband, wife, friend etc. I’m not asking you to annoy them but at least stop killing yourself to meet their expectations. You are a Human who has his own life, likes and dislikes, dreams. You should do things which make you happy and of course which do not deviate from your code of ethics and moral standards. If an evening walk makes your mind fresh then go for it; don’t wait for a friend to accompany you. If you feel like having an ice cream; don’t beg your brother or husband to get it for yourself. Make a wish list and start following.
Ignore the phrase “Log Kia Kahengay” : Usually before doing something of our interest, the first phrase which strikes our mind or mom says is “Log Kia Kahengay” (what would people say). Just remember people are here to talk. They would comment or rather criticize even on your positive behavior. So just ignore them and judge your actions on your own parameters. You are intelligent enough to weigh the impact of your action on you and others. If something, according to you, is fine then its fine.
Worries about materialistic acquisition: Today, we live in a capitalist world where the purpose of living is to make as much money as we could in order to consume ‘Everything’ which others have. Being Muslims, its our faith to believe in the power of Almighty Allah. I heard a very deep thought sentence from a friend that “Naseeb se ziada aur waqt se pehlay kisi ko kuch nahi milta” (You cannot get more than your destiny and before time). It is not in our hands but to work hard with honestly, is surely within our reach. So we should play our part and leave rest to Him who plans better than us.
Praise people who deserve: Sharing happiness of others inculcates positivity in our thought and attitude. If your friend gets a position in exam; you must congratulate him on his success and share his happiness. Similarly, your colleague who gets a promotion deserves your honest wishes on his achievement. Be the part of your closed ones on the occasion of happiness and grief. This will make your heart kind and tender and you would start taking things positively.

Relationships for the Sake of …..?

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Changing Relationships

Just ended up watching Bollywood new release, “I, Me aur Main” it was a simple triangular love story of break up between a unwed couple and both guy and girl find new partners and things moved on. Soon after first breakup, the girl gets pregnant and chooses to deliver the child even if its father doesn’t take responsibility. Well, then there’s typical Indian masala goes on.. What enticed my interest was the climax of the movie. I was not surprised to see the guy (hero) decides for a patch up with ex-girlfriend because he was emotionally touched by his mom’s words. Instead, the decision of girl (heroine) was quite interesting. She was of opinion that if they could continue to live together just for the sake of baby then their differences will remain the same and chances are there it would end up as divorce. She doesn’t wants to give a stressful family to her baby, therefore let her ex and father of her child, go and marry the woman he loves. At the end, it was shown that both of the parents are raising the child and spending time with her separately and his new girl friend happily accepts the baby.

Well that’s cute. But I was thinking if it could actually happen in real life? Can woman lets father of her child go to someone else happily? Can both parents take care of a child while being with their new spouses? Can new spouses accept the child?

Are our values actually changing to this extend? or such stories are seen on big screen only. What we see in reality, is most of the parents live together just for the sake of children, they don’t opt to separate because of social pressure. They sacrifice their happiness to look as a happy family. Is the scene changing with modernity? Time will witness that.

Changing Family Dynamics in Modern Times

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Changing family dynamics in modern times

Making others understand what you think is always difficult especially when you’re somewhat bothered with their opinion about you. Or sometime, you just want to win the argument with your sister, colleague or friend to have an edge on the on-going discussion. Let’s talk about the family here. Hmm family is still a robust institution of eastern society when escalating social, psychological and economic factors are abating its traditional roots. The structure of an eastern home has also transformed catering to the changing family norms, resulting in frustration for the elder members who are reluctant to the change and at the same time, for young individuals who are desperate to adapt new civilization model.

This family chaos not only affects the overall functioning of the institution but also endorse the existing stereotype perceptions about new generation. HOW? Let me elaborate that in easy words. An adolescent or a young boy who gets up for college in morning, hits gym, goes to cinema, dines out with friends and spends hours on internet so that’s how his lifestyle is. He is brought up in the same culture. It doesn’t mean he is not concerned about his grades or career. He is often judged as irresponsible on the basis of his activities in any family argument. An elder gets an edge at this point because using Facebook for 2 hours is useless and it makes sense to any sane person.

Now, let’s take other situation. A housewife and mother who spends most of her time in household stuff and for most of the women, television is the only entertainment to spend leisure time. Mostly she watches morning shows, or drama so that she could relate herself with those characters depicted on the screen and gets emotional boost. It’s her lifestyle that she adapted over a period of time. We often find husbands blaming their wives “what you do whole day? Just sit at home and watch TV” or frustrated wife yelling at husband “You spend all day out, How do you know about domestic issues”.

Ironically an intelligent techie kid who experiences world wearing 3D glasses, uses smartphones and believes in virtual relationships fails to fit in this traditional model of family. At times, he feels alienated in the orthodox system. He loves and respects his mom, dad and siblings but loses his temperament in explaining himself and giving justifications for his actions. He loves the artificiality and glamour of modernity and dreaming to see him there. He can’t help if he prefers drinking Coke over Orange Juice. Similarly, if he chooses to go out with friends on weekend rather visiting uncle’s house with family, it has nothing to do with morality or mannerism.

So, it’s about our brought up, lifestyle and environment that shape our personality and traits. We make our daily choices on the basis of the influences of what we see around and exposed to. Using Facebook could be as boring for a typical adult as reading newspaper for a young person. Problem arises when we judge others on the basis of our own perceptions and put labels on them because they fail to fit in our standards of morality and decency. There are many factors responsible behind any character. Understanding those factors can make you develop a better understanding about a person. But it happens only if you’re genuinely willing to understand, cooperate and accept him the way he is, otherwise it’s more convenient to make a false image.