I was away from WordPress for few weeks or maybe months.. I didn’t feel any urge for writing, when I see my previous poetry, I get surprised and don’t believe that I wrote those pieces.. Most of my poetry and writing were spontaneous.. I never planned to write something about any topic. Anyway, I came to the point where I realised that I am not interested in writing and it was not my ‘real’ passion. In this span of time, I was actually figuring out my real passion.
There was a time (two years back) I was very enthusiastic to bring about change in society and to contribute in the change process. I joined few NGOs, volunteered for various causes from education to underprivileged children to child abuse and reproduction health. Then I realised that change can only be brought through the field of education. With that realisation, I found teaching as my passion, and I strived hard to get a job as faculty. Luckily I got a course to teach to BBA and MBA students in a business school. I completed one semester with great enthusiasm and thought I have found my ‘real’ passion. Meanwhile I became active on blogging, writing blog posts and poetry about philosophy and spirituality. Teaching and writing became my passion. Then in past few months, I no more felt the same urge to teach or write. I searched on Internet whether one’s passion can change? And the answer was YES, passion does change with time.
Right now, I am in the middle of nowhere. I came to UAE to work in uncle’s company with almost no excitement. I have been to UAE couple of times before but never found this place exciting. Since I was not doing anything in my country, Pakistan so I came here to ‘explore’ new opportunities. I don’t know what future brings for me. But right now I struggle hard to find a passion, maybe a new passion because previous passions don’t interest me anymore. I want to spread my ideas, and help people, bring about change, I can do this through writing. But in this case, I need to be consistent. And consistency is something that I lack. I search for my personality type and I fall under the category of INFP. These people are creative and idealistic, they feel an urge to work for some cause, but it’s hard for them to find the work that best suits their interest and temperament. I hope and wish I find something that I love and be consistent with that.